New Sight Disorder Referred to as Level-Blindness Gives Males Hope

Who is Playing Tricks on Whom?

Who is Playing Tricks on Whom?

Ophthalmologists have labeled a new form of blindness as “level blindness”. This ailment has been discovered mainly in males and can be distinguished as an inability to discern when items are empty or full. For example, males with level blindness are unable to determine that trash cans are full so they continue to stuff more and more trash into an already full trash can instead of emptying the already full receptacle or finding another place to put their trash. Another example at the other extreme of the spectrum is when a toilet paper roll reaches the end of the roll, persons suffering from level blindness are unable to see the empty or near-empty roll so they will not replace it with a new, full roll of toilet paper.

Previously women blamed symptoms of this condition on laziness and lack of observation. Now, with proper diagnosis, men are hopeful that women can begin to accept the condition and learn to be more supportive as is generally their role. It is estimated that three out of five men suffer from this condition, but with awareness campaigns and training, men are hopeful that women will back off and keep their mouths shut.

Researchers are unsure whether the symptoms of level blindness are related to leaving the toilet seat up and further study is necessary into this dangerous habit which can lead to severe injuries such as a broken tailbone. These injuries occurs most often at night when a female, and sometimes even males, enters a bathroom to use a toilet and sits down instinctively relaxing their leg muscles at the memory stored and intuitive seat height. If the seat is not in place when a person drops his/her weight then the result is that the person falls with an acceleration of gravity until he/she hits the bottom of the hard porcelain bowl. The resulting force is enough to cause serious bruising and possibly even break bones.

These accidents are similar to falls which occur on flights of stairs as a result of one or more of the risers or treads being a different height than the rest of the flight of stairs. The body develops a natural rhythm as one goes up or down a flight of stairs and one expects a tread to be in a certain position. If the riser is slightly too high or too low then a person falls, just as if the toilet seat isn’t where it should be, a person falls and injures oneself. But the fault does not lie with the person going up and down the stairs or sitting down on the toilet; instead it lies with the person who has removed the element of normalcy from the fixture. In the case of the stair the contractor and/or architect could be held liable for injuries sustained. So it would stand to reason that in the case of a missing toilet seat injury a contemptuous husband could be held liable, unless it could be proven that level blindness is an associated ailment. The impact of this research study could very well be far reaching, and I’m sure both genders will be very interested to follow the developments.

How to be a Facebook Diva

Miniature Pinscher, Facebook Diva, attention, azalea, bush, ground, size, outside

Life isn’t about how big or small you are, it’s about how much attention you can get.

If you have a diva dream and you are just in need of a few pointers, I have compiled a list of common traits of tiara worthy personalities on Facebook. These suggestions need not be limited to the femme fatale, they are perfectly poised for a gregarious gent as well.

  • Change your profile photo often
  • Make seemingly profound statements about nothing
  •  or about life, love, happiness, peace, religion or cats
  • Make these statements  often
  • Post cartoon graphics or photos with statements written on top of them like Hallmark or American Greetings type images i.e. to make them look like inspirational greeting cards
  • Make announcements of your whereabouts as if you are followed by the paparazzi
  • Post photos of yourself routinely
  • Don’t post too many photos of your friends and/or pets. You don’t want to draw any attention away from yourself
  • Make statements about what inspires you
  • Post about some tragic or difficult life experience you have gone through as though it is epic and people should worship you for it
  • Make sure that people know you ARE a positive person
  • “Like” your own comments and photos
  • Send friend invitations to anyone and everyone you cross paths with, whomever you ever knew from your past, and know in your present
  • Delete AND block anybody who says anything offensive about you

The Evolution of My Being

I tend to form meticulous habits, carefully constructed with purpose. I crave efficiency, harmony, maximization, aesthetics, maximum pleasure for others, minimal negative impact, and of course the highest positive impact. Of course, the variables are constantly changing depending on tasks, outside associations (people, weather, unforseen conditions…), etc. I decided today that these changes, which could be construed as putting a kind in my routine, are actually precursors to the evolution of my being.  If I were to continue ticking away like clockwork for the rest of my life, I might simply unwind as my time runs out. I think I would become bored.

I do like to believe in evolution, and I intend to be the fittest version of me, doing more than just surviving. Experiencing and then pushing my boundaries has always been what has excited me most.  And my life certainly is and has been exciting for a shy and forthright, compassionate and passionate, stalwart and stoic, nerdy geek with multiple disabilities. There are some constants, but they are not static constants. It’s as though they are changing at variable rates which can be charted, and perhaps some sort of order can be determined of them. Or, perhaps they will continue to appear random, like pi.  I think there is an order though, and a purpose, and a solvable equation.  I think in order for things to exist there is reason, and reason pertains to logic, and logic is orderly, and order is inherently mathematical.

So, as I meander through the ebb and flow of my life, I hope that for the most part my evolution is meritorious and benevolent. I am not naive enough to believe that I do not take any wrong turns. But I believe that the best lessons are learned from our mistakes.  And the more gracefully we resolve our Faux pas, the smoother we transition into the next stages of our lessons.